I recently read that Donna Lynne is leaving her job as a top executive of Kaiser Permanente to become Colorado’s newest lieutenant governor. Actually, that job should have gone to me, but I didn’t plan for the job and she did.
I put my husband’s needs first – taking on all of the duties of home and hearth when married through his internship and residency in New York City and later through his practice years in Colorado- what if I had gotten my Masters or Doctorate instead? I chose to have a family. Donna Lynne has three kids; I had only two, a boy and a girl….perfect at the time. But she had already gotten her Master’s degree in public administration, had been a White House intern and chief budget analyst for education in New York City before she married and had kids. She also juggled studying for a Ph.D. in public health while I was juggling new surroundings, new friends and the harried schedule of my Ob-Gyn husband. I had been a 2nd grade teacher in a special service school in New York City before teaching in rural West Virginia during the Viet Nam War and then moved back to New York (for completion of his internship) before moving to Colorado in 1971, where I stayed home and took care of my kids and also remained available to help him build his new practice. Lynne’s boss the former Mayor Rudy Giuliani once said to her “I so admire you. You’re a single mom, and you are working in this high-pressured job. How do you do it? She responded to him “I don’t have a husband,” because in the 70s and 80s she met her husband, had three children, became divorced and was single for 27 years.
She rode the Rockies while I rode my bike around Cherry Creek Reservoir because my husband wanted companionship. She knew the anti-aging power of activity and exercise and so did I. But while she blasted down slopes in the Vail Ski Challenge charity fundraiser, I accompanied my husband on the slopes of Copper Mountain because his career left us little time together and he thought that I was great company with skill and daring. Just like her I love fun and am a little wild at times but she had the career and I followed her mother’s footsteps of “giving up a career to start a family.”
The truth be known, I envy her accomplishments as I go into my 55th year of marriage with no paycheck of my own, no resume and no one tapping me to be their assistant; but I would never change places with her. My husband, children and grandchildren know that when they need help, are frustrated by life’s trials, want extra love or need someone to hug them, I am proud to be at the top of their A list. And nothing could fulfill me more.
Marilyn is a member of Just Write Associates, which encourages all women and men to become writers.