Stephanie Riggs reflects on her parents as grandparents.
My grandparent’s felt like the icing on the cake of life to my sisters and me. Grandma’s secret code wink meant a beeline to our pre-determined hiding spot to uncover a stack of brightly colored Peeps in all of their sugary glory! God knows how much I loved that woman! You see my grandmother just knew what my mother didn’t. We LOVED junk food.
Ok. We did. We were little kids. So grandma just worked around the system and my childhood was literally and figuratively sweeter for it. My mother was strict, she had lists and limits and rules. You know important parenting stuff. But grandma well, she didn’t. It was wagon rides around the neighborhood, long backrubs until I fell asleep, and bowls of fresh fruit around the pool when Mom was watching and then endless bowls of candy at her place when Mom was gone. Grandma had the time, smiles and patience my parents didn’t. My dad worked so hard and so did my mom. So grandma was there and all the goodness that came with her. My grandpa taught me to golf, he opened my first bank account and gave me my first checkbook. He would sometimes spot-check our balances and if everything looked in order he would add one hundred dollars to the account. Easiest money a kid could make. They both made us feel loved, special and acknowledged.
Those were my mom’s parents. My dad’s father never got to know us. My grandfather Riggs was Colliers, Life, Time and Look magazine’s All-American guard. We still have his contract for him to play with the Green Bay Packers in 1940. But he never got to play. Instead of heading off to Green Bay, Noble Riggs entered the war as an officer and became a highly decorated Green Beret, serving Special Forces in Vietnam, and World War II. He earned a legion of merit, two silver stars, four bronze stars – two with Valor, meaning his men saw him risk his life in battle; six purple hearts after being wounded in combat, and campaign and commendation medals for 30 years of service. He was a Lt. Colonel with the regular army and a commission awarded by President Harry Truman. My tough grandpa was back on the battlefield in 1942, three weeks after being shot in Africa in his left leg seven times by machine gun fire. I met him a few times when I was a little girl but he died of a heart attack and his wife died of breast cancer so I never knew them.
When I had my own child, I hoped he would have a close relationship with my parents. I did everything in my control to nurture that relationship and to say my dad took it to the next level is an understatement! My dad always jokes how God looked down on our home and insisted there was more than enough men and so God gave him three girls. Let’s just say my dad had to bury his dream of a boy until my son. And then the effort, time and determination erupted like a volcano! It got so over the top my sisters wanted to know if my son was ok? When I asked why they said, Dad is acting like this is the last time he will see him. There isn’t a boyhood experience my son hasn’t fulfilled thanks to my dad. I got to see my dad with all new eyes. I guess I never realized what a unique position a grandparent has until I watched my son and my dad. The laughter, the adventures, the talks, the games (mostly video games) fishing, hunting, driving his big red pick-up around a parking lot before his license and the endless amount of time fill my heart until it overflows!
You see, no one in the world will ever fill that special role in a child’s life. My love comes with expectations and lists (yes, I became my mother.) My parent’s didn’t change; they just took on a different role. They don’t really care about grades, and how well my son does at a fencing tournament or what college he gets into or what he will do with his life. They know I got that under control (ok, they let me pretend.) What my dad and mom do is kind of heavenly because my son doesn’t have to do anything to win their love. Who wouldn’t want to be around that confidence-building, acceptance as much as possible? My dad has the gift of encouragement. He made my son feel like a brilliant, one of a kind winner. My friends joke that my parents treat my son like the “crowned prince”. And my dad would say you damn right! He taught my son manners, commitment and how believing in something bigger than himself brings accountability and ultimately happiness in this crazy world.
My parents just celebrated fifty-five years of marriage and my dad’s seventy-seventh birthday. Mom and dad were always so busy when I was growing up and now it just seems like they just “hang out.” When I call home and ask what dad is doing, my mom says he’s is trying to get to the higher level on a video game to keep up with my son. My son has taught my dad how to access rooms in video games; in return, my dad has taught my son more than I ever could imagine. In fact, if you ask my son, he would tell you his grandparents aren’t the frosting on the cake, they take the cake!
Stephanie Riggs is a veteran, Emmy award winning free-lance broadcast journalist who contributes to CBS Sunday Morning, TEGNA and CBN News. Stephanieriggs.com @_stephanieriggs Instagram/twitter