By Dr. Norman J. Fischer
Rules and Free Will: Are They Compatible?
There are, some who say, that by limiting the number of rules we are encouraging children to think for themselves, allowing them to use their imaginations.
Well, yeah, but there are rules and there are rules. Let’s be clear as to what we are talking about. Freedom without rules is nothing more than anarchy (ever seen a teenager’s bedroom?).
As parents and grandparents, we should be issuing rules (especially in our own homes) dealing with acceptable behavior and scheduling. How else will children learn them? NOTE: expect the children to hear them, process them and ignore them, until, as I used to tell my children “what will happen will hurt you more than it will hurt me…your choice.”
So (Drum Roll) how to issue an edict and STILL give the child the free will to choose what to do? “That is the question” (see Shakespeare/Bacon). And if the question is in Shakespeare/Bacon, the answer is in a book probably not written by either of the two aforementioned authors.
Whether you believe the Bible is a holy book or just a darned-good read, the answer we have been searching for since the first child said “But I hate broccoli” is right there in the first story. Loosely translated, Adam is told to shape-up or ship-out.
What does this have to do with rules and free will? EVERYTHING! “A” was given a set of rules to follow – or else! Much like the way we (are forced to) deal with our own children (and spouses, but I can’t go there…I’m being watched).
The difficulty is not in the ‘rules’ but in the ‘or else’. Or else what???? That’s where we fail to give the child the opportunity to have free will. When someone chooses to break a rule, she does it because it’s (she believes) in her best interest (and definitely more fun). But how many times have we heard (and said) “Well, IF I had known what was going to happen, I NEVER would have done THAT!
Now look back at that first story about ole Adam and ask yourself (or yourselves if more than one person is reading this) “Where was he created?” Most would say in the garden. But wait. Look again. It says that he was put into the garden. So…just this. Adam had free will because he knew what the outside was like, what it meant to be ‘shipped-out’. He knew the meaning of “or else’.
Clearly explain, in very simple terms (you may be talking to teens), what is involved in the ‘or else’. Failure to do that, and you actually take away their free will. Doing it gives them the free will to choose what’s best for them or the pleasure that you will receive when they don’t!
Norman J. Fischer Ed. D
Norman received his Doctorate in Education in 1994.
He was the Principal of K-12 Religious Schools since 1977 and for 5 years a consultant to numerous religious schools in Colorado and out-of-state.
The father of 3, grandfather of 6, Norman retired to the mountains in Southern Colorado in 2007, building his ‘dream house’ with his wife Sherry.